Comments on: Thanks for Your Interest in Leadership and Self-Deception http://www.bkblogs.com/leadership/ Blog for BK Wed, 28 Jul 2010 12:10:52 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Mark R. Reif http://www.bkblogs.com/leadership/comment-page-1/#comment-4362 Mark R. Reif Fri, 05 Feb 2010 12:14:29 +0000 http://www.bkblogs.com/?p=47#comment-4362 I may be off base (please tell me if you think so) but one of the most usefule things I mentally tell myself at the beginning of every day, and then several times during the day, is "Relax! Do not react until you have mentally thought through your reaction and are sure that you are reacting in a way that helps improve the discussion, is constructive, and in a manner that other people will be able to accept." Even if I only get as far as RELAX - HOLD YOUR FIRE - LISTEN - THINK - THEN RESPOND, I find I am (I think) much more effective. The world is not going to come to an end because I don't spring into action every moment of every day. If I wait until I'm sure I have a reasonable grasp of the situation, the human dynamics, how critical the issue is, I believe my contributions and leadership are much more effective and accepted. I may be off base (please tell me if you think so) but one of the most usefule things I mentally tell myself at the beginning of every day, and then several times during the day, is “Relax! Do not react until you have mentally thought through your reaction and are sure that you are reacting in a way that helps improve the discussion, is constructive, and in a manner that other people will be able to accept.” Even if I only get as far as RELAX – HOLD YOUR FIRE – LISTEN – THINK – THEN RESPOND, I find I am (I think) much more effective. The world is not going to come to an end because I don’t spring into action every moment of every day. If I wait until I’m sure I have a reasonable grasp of the situation, the human dynamics, how critical the issue is, I believe my contributions and leadership are much more effective and accepted.

]]> By: Sandy Leonard http://www.bkblogs.com/leadership/comment-page-1/#comment-4289 Sandy Leonard Sat, 30 Jan 2010 14:15:25 +0000 http://www.bkblogs.com/?p=47#comment-4289 Isn't it so very interesting that one need only to recognize #1 that a situation exists that needs fixing and #2 that we have all the answers if we will but acknowledge that we have a part to play in the solution. "Ask and ye shall receive" and answers come. The accomplishments that are coming and will be coming from this Arbinger Community because of these principles will be life changing...indeed world changing! Of this I am sure. I am very grateful to be a part of this learning curve and this great organization. A BIG thank you to everyone who is making this available to all of us, the books to read, the lectures and retreats to attend, the emails to open, the phone conference calls to listen, and the list goes on and on and on. I feel such a sense of gratefulness. Isn’t it so very interesting that one need only to recognize #1 that a situation exists that needs fixing and #2 that we have all the answers if we will but acknowledge that we have a part to play in the solution. “Ask and ye shall receive” and answers come. The accomplishments that are coming and will be coming from this Arbinger Community because of these principles will be life changing…indeed world changing! Of this I am sure. I am very grateful to be a part of this learning curve and this great organization. A BIG thank you to everyone who is making this available to all of us, the books to read, the lectures and retreats to attend, the emails to open, the phone conference calls to listen, and the list goes on and on and on. I feel such a sense of gratefulness.

]]> By: Marilu http://www.bkblogs.com/leadership/comment-page-1/#comment-4284 Marilu Sat, 30 Jan 2010 05:47:30 +0000 http://www.bkblogs.com/?p=47#comment-4284 There are all kinds of leadership that we can be challenged by, whether as a manager, leadership of a volunteer or church responsibility, or in our own homes. I have at times been in all these positions, and never knew why I found them so stressful and difficult. When I encountered Arbinger principles eight years ago, I was changed dramatically and so was my experience of the world and people around me. (And hopefully their experience of me was changed for the better also). Whether at work, at home, or at church, I am more effective and more peaceful in proportion to how 'out of the box' I can be with others and with situations. I am so grateful for this. There are all kinds of leadership that we can be challenged by, whether as a manager, leadership of a volunteer or church responsibility, or in our own homes. I have at times been in all these positions, and never knew why I found them so stressful and difficult. When I encountered Arbinger principles eight years ago, I was changed dramatically and so was my experience of the world and people around me. (And hopefully their experience of me was changed for the better also). Whether at work, at home, or at church, I am more effective and more peaceful in proportion to how ‘out of the box’ I can be with others and with situations. I am so grateful for this.

]]> By: Jeff W. http://www.bkblogs.com/leadership/comment-page-1/#comment-4279 Jeff W. Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:31:12 +0000 http://www.bkblogs.com/?p=47#comment-4279 These are principles to live by! Great work. I am looking forward to the 3rd book. What is the hold up?! As a Director of one of the few leadership schools in Central Asia, I can tell you that we have our work cut out for us...so keep producing such profound and highly readable material. These are principles to live by! Great work. I am looking forward to the 3rd book. What is the hold up?! As a Director of one of the few leadership schools in Central Asia, I can tell you that we have our work cut out for us…so keep producing such profound and highly readable material.

]]> By: Raju Mandhyan http://www.bkblogs.com/leadership/comment-page-1/#comment-4243 Raju Mandhyan Mon, 25 Jan 2010 23:49:08 +0000 http://www.bkblogs.com/?p=47#comment-4243 I think I always carried the leadership "germ" unconsciously and, sometimes, consciously. I thought, then, that is the way life is. Today, years later, after having read the book, Leadership and Self-Deception, several time and ingested the principles and the truths in it, I live a life which consistently and consciously works at self-purification. I think I always carried the leadership “germ” unconsciously and, sometimes, consciously. I thought, then, that is the way life is. Today, years later, after having read the book, Leadership and Self-Deception, several time and ingested the principles and the truths in it, I live a life which consistently and consciously works at self-purification.

]]> By: Vicki K. http://www.bkblogs.com/leadership/comment-page-1/#comment-4182 Vicki K. Sat, 16 Jan 2010 21:31:23 +0000 http://www.bkblogs.com/?p=47#comment-4182 The book has had a profound effect on my interactions with my colleagues, family and friends. I would also recommend The Anatomy of Peace as well as this helps to understand the message from a different perspective. There really is no one I can think of that would not benefit from reading and pondering these books. The book has had a profound effect on my interactions with my colleagues, family and friends. I would also recommend The Anatomy of Peace as well as this helps to understand the message from a different perspective. There really is no one I can think of that would not benefit from reading and pondering these books.

]]> By: Daryl Delabbio http://www.bkblogs.com/leadership/comment-page-1/#comment-4092 Daryl Delabbio Thu, 07 Jan 2010 21:31:05 +0000 http://www.bkblogs.com/?p=47#comment-4092 I just completed reading Leadership and Self Deception and I found it to be illuminating. No question I have been "in the box." Being made aware of this has been eye opening and, as someone else said, humbling. I plan on reading "The Anatomy of Peace" as well. Ironically, shortly after finishing the book, found myself in a situation where I should have done something but didn't. I was "called" on it. Instead of getting defensive (which I would have), I was receptive to the warranted chastising, acknowledged my error and apologized. I just completed reading Leadership and Self Deception and I found it to be illuminating. No question I have been “in the box.” Being made aware of this has been eye opening and, as someone else said, humbling. I plan on reading “The Anatomy of Peace” as well. Ironically, shortly after finishing the book, found myself in a situation where I should have done something but didn’t. I was “called” on it. Instead of getting defensive (which I would have), I was receptive to the warranted chastising, acknowledged my error and apologized.

]]> By: Michael Rener http://www.bkblogs.com/leadership/comment-page-1/#comment-4082 Michael Rener Wed, 06 Jan 2010 17:04:07 +0000 http://www.bkblogs.com/?p=47#comment-4082 This remarkable book has allowed me to continually look at my life and reflect on something of profound significance. As a manager, results and accountability have new meaning. As a son and husband, family life has lasting hope for peace and happiness. As a stranger in community, the word “people” creates a bond of connectedness. Arbingers work shows me how, just like Semmelweis, my self-deceptions cause problems (and conflict) all around me. Most importantly, it gives me the equipment to get out of those self-deceptions. It does not matter your religion or creed, culture or social upbringing… this material speaks to all of humanity. This remarkable book has allowed me to continually look at my life and reflect on something of profound significance. As a manager, results and accountability have new meaning. As a son and husband, family life has lasting hope for peace and happiness. As a stranger in community, the word “people” creates a bond of connectedness. Arbingers work shows me how, just like Semmelweis, my self-deceptions cause problems (and conflict) all around me. Most importantly, it gives me the equipment to get out of those self-deceptions. It does not matter your religion or creed, culture or social upbringing… this material speaks to all of humanity.

]]> By: Heather Burton http://www.bkblogs.com/leadership/comment-page-1/#comment-4078 Heather Burton Wed, 06 Jan 2010 09:59:24 +0000 http://www.bkblogs.com/?p=47#comment-4078 Almost every day, I meet people whose perspectives have changed significantly through reading Leadership and Self-Deception. They join Arbinger's online forum to continue to explore what had seemed hidden before -- the underlying "disease" of self-deception that had been manifesting itself in their businesses, families and communities as tension, reluctance, disloyalty, resentment, broken lines of communication, misunderstandings, inertia, offended feelings and more. Recognizing the condition of self-deception has been a moving force for positive, deep change for these people and thousands of others. Please join us at Arbinger Community to read stories of change, exchange experiences and insights, and learn more about Arbinger ideas. It's easy to use and free: www.arbingercommunity.ning.com. You're welcome to stop by my page on the site. I'd be happy to help answer any questions you may have. Heather Burton Arbinger Community Team Almost every day, I meet people whose perspectives have changed significantly through reading Leadership and Self-Deception. They join Arbinger’s online forum to continue to explore what had seemed hidden before — the underlying “disease” of self-deception that had been manifesting itself in their businesses, families and communities as tension, reluctance, disloyalty, resentment, broken lines of communication, misunderstandings, inertia, offended feelings and more. Recognizing the condition of self-deception has been a moving force for positive, deep change for these people and thousands of others.

Please join us at Arbinger Community to read stories of change, exchange experiences and insights, and learn more about Arbinger ideas. It’s easy to use and free: http://www.arbingercommunity.ning.com.

You’re welcome to stop by my page on the site. I’d be happy to help answer any questions you may have.

Heather Burton
Arbinger Community Team

]]> By: Jim Long http://www.bkblogs.com/leadership/comment-page-1/#comment-4065 Jim Long Tue, 05 Jan 2010 03:43:15 +0000 http://www.bkblogs.com/?p=47#comment-4065 The shockingly simple (and new to me) ideas in this humble book helped me stop unknowingly inviting and causing the very management problems that burdened me. Once I learned how to stop deceiving myself and preventing change, everything and everyone changed for the better. It literally happened overnight. The shockingly simple (and new to me) ideas in this humble book helped me stop unknowingly inviting and causing the very management problems that burdened me. Once I learned how to stop deceiving myself and preventing change, everything and everyone changed for the better. It literally happened overnight.

]]>